Can you see the family resemblance? We were dropped a lot as babies.

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE BIGGER BROTHER MATT!

WELCOME TO THE BIG LEAGUES!

I stole this picture from Melinda. But I like it. I like that Donnie and Elease are the protesting type. I walk everywhere now. I yell at Hummer drivers. DAMN the MAN! Save the Empire!

On a more sad note, Monday night my family lost a very special old friend (old in length of knowing her, not in age). I was the flower girl in her wedding when I was 5. She let me pick out my own dress - it was purple, off the shoulder, with a big 'ol hoop skirt - I loved that dress. I wish I still had it.

Anyway, her name was MaryEllen. She was a rabblerouser and a partier. I can't make it home for the funeral tomorrow, so I'll be honoring her in the only way she'd appreciate - at a bar. I'd love it anyone cared to join me. If not, at some point this weekend, toss back a drink in the memory of one genuinely FUN person. She'd love that.

Happy Thursday

Things that Piss Me Off, part 117.

1. Calling a company's 1-800 number and having some heavily accent guy in INDIA named Sean (yeah, Sean. I've met a TON of Indian Seans) provide me with excellent customer service. And by excellent, I mean where I can't understand him, and when he repeats himself, he does it in such a condescending tone that it's clear he believes that I am just another stupid American.

2. Drivers who honk at you when you don't pull up into the area on the street marked "KEEP CLEAR" because they want to get that extra 2.5" feet further forward. Usually, they are on a cell phone, smoking a cigarette and applying eye makeup while they do so.

3. Humidity. I left the east coast because of the humidity. So what the hell is it doing here?

4. Hangovers. Don't really have much to say about that 'cept I wish I didn't have 2 this past weekend. Oops!

A SHOUT OUT

To Matt and Marissa, newly engaged as of about 3pm today.

In roughly a year's time, I will legally finally have a sister.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Has anyone noticed the sudden abundance of babies and pregnancies this year?
Yet another friend has announced her pregnancy to me today.
Let's do the math, now shall we?

Laura & Dan - 1 down 1 due in August
Amber & Jon - 1 down 1 due in March
Kim & Dana - 1 arrived in May
Paul & Angie - 1 arrived in May
Danielle & Kevin - 1 arrived in June
** & ** (not my news to tell:))- 1 due in December-ish
Allison - 1 due in August
Seth & Melissa - Eskander arrives in the fall

So, what precedes babies? Weddings. Lots and lots o' weddings.

1 in October
2 in November
1 TBA

8 babies. 4 weddings.

Now. Let's go one step further. If you estimate that most people give a new baby gift in the average range of $40, that adds up to roughly $320, just for baby showers.

Weddings - $75 is the average gift. I will be a guest with no travel expenses at only one wedding. I have one destination wedding. Vegas over a Saturday night. $100 airfare, $150 hotel, $30 taxis and $50 food. One destination wedding + gift = $405. And there is the wedding that you are a bridesmaid in. These fall into a few categories: Bridesmaid or Maid of Honor.

I am currently a M.O.H. in one sorta-local wedding. Dress: $90. Shoes: $30. Hotel, 2 nights: $250. Bachelorette Party: $200. Shower: $200. Gift: $75. Total: $845.

The final type is the destination & Bridesmaid Wedding. Tack another $400 for airfare and rental car to the previous. Total: $1245.00.

Grand total of all Babies and Weddings Thus Far: $2,890.00.

NEARLY $3000!!!!

I'm totally registering for a car for my next birthday.

8:10am Today

Fire alarm in my building went off again. Something like the 15th time in the last month. Even at about 60 decibals, we've all learned to ignore it. I talked to my building manager about it. He thinks someone is pulling the alarm. Does that mean he's done anything? Of course not. He told me to just stay inside - that I'd figure it out if it was a real fire. Nothing like a little "Boy who cried wolf" action. Usually, the alarm turns off within 5 or 10 minutes. Today, it was a full 30 minutes. It was finally shut off when the fire truck arrived. THIRTY minutes for a fire truck. THAT'S pretty friggin ridiculous. I mean, it's not like we live in Bakersfield or something. I'm in PALMS! There are 4 firehouses within a 10 block radius. Why on earth did it take 30 minutes for them to get here?

My head hurts and my ears are still ringing. Boo

Question:

I'm sitting here at 11:23pm watching the movie, Satisfaction. Can someone please answer me when I ask, "Who the hell thought shooting a movie with Justine Bateman rocking out with a cowbell and Julia Roberts on bass guitar was a good idea?"

And Who the fuck would cast LIAM NEESON as the romantic interest to Ms. Mallory Keaton?

Okay Ya'll - G'NIGHT!

Please Save Me from Myself...

This weekend (not counting Friday, on which I played the ponies and went bar-hopping with some people I just found out I work with), I spent pretty much the entire time sitting on my sofa watching cheesy-ass movies and feeling sorry for myself. Have you ever had a weekend like that? Where movies like (don't shoot me) RAISE YOUR VOICE or SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS make you cry your fricken eyes out? I woke up today feeling much better and pissed off that I even sat through a third of Raise Your Voice. It's really not normal though. I just curled up in a ball and stared at the tv for like 10 hours.

I did make my way to Ross and Target Sunday afternoon. After waiting around for Bring It On to end.

I was in the dressing room at Ross and realized that I was the only English-speaking person in there. Then, I got on line. I
waited and waited AND WAITED. No movement. So I switched lines. Then, my first line started flying and three people behind me checked out before I even got to the register. When I finally got to the register, a woman jumped in front of me and plopped 4 pairs of shoes on the counter. She then went up to the front of the store and started trying the shoes on her stupid, ugly, undisiplined and dirty fricken kids. After ANOTHER 5 minutes, she comes back, jumps in front of me and starts to check out.

Went to Target after. Same thing happened. I just got pissed off and went home.

Someone has turned me into a p***y. Once upon a time, I never would have tolerated someone walking all over me like that. I would have defended myself. I need to find my backbone. If you can find it, please let me know.