Ladies,

I found this article online today:

MIAMI (Reuters) - A 76-year-old man claiming to be a doctor went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams, and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, police said on Thursday.
One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

The woman then phoned the Broward County Sheriff's Office and the suspect fled. He was arrested at another woman's apartment in the same Lauderdale Lakes neighborhood on Wednesday, a sheriff's spokesman said.

The white-haired suspect, Philip Winikoff, carried a black bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.

"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," sheriff's spokesman Hugh Graf said in a statement.

At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.

Winikoff was not a doctor, Graf said. He worked as a shuttle driver for an auto dealership.



HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE???

Random thoughts on the breakup:

1. I had a dream about him last night. My friend Glenys came in from London and threw this big-ass party in this crazy house that Morganella lived in. (Don't ask - I have no idea why Morgs had a house and she was throwing a party in it.) Glenys had even brought in a beer truck. It was pretty fantastic. But then Mike showed up in a beat-up old green pickup truck, dressed like a lumberjack. He brought a girl with him. Her job was to deliver chocolate bunnies to the party. But I saw him kiss her, and got all mad that they came to the party - like he was disrespecting me or something. So I beat him up, left the party in a Camaro, and was listening to TOMMY (the stage show, not the Who recording) in the car on this abandoned road.

What's that mean?

2. Feeling like I'm starting to get a little cold-shouldered from someone who is his friend, but I thought was also my friend. I know that it's going to happen, but I kind of feel like he's mad at me. And I didn't do anything wrong. What's that about? When he broke up with his ex, I stayed friends with both of them. Is that so weird?

I can't figure things out right now. Making my head hurt.

Happy National High Five Day!

Didja Ever Notice...?


That things don't always seem to go the way you plan them? I just want to be completely done with everything from the past few years - keys gone, goldfish back in my possesion, deposit back from the bitch who owned the crackden I was living in...but of course, it can never just been a clean break. I've got my boxes back but have a box of his stuff to return. He has my goldfish that I still have to move. I have all of the pictures from the last 3 years. Can I just hand them all over? Will I want to look at them again someday? Why do I have to take the bitch to court to get my money back? Would it be wrong just to take her TV and Washing Machine and sell them on Craigslist to recoup my deposit?

It's a frustrating day. But, I am moved in now. Setup, unpacked, moved in...I love my new bedroom set - it's so grownup! I just wish the bedroom was a little bit bigger to accommodate it. Someday. Someday I'll have a bedroom that's as big as the bedroom I just left. (Yeah. It really blows. Feels an awful lot like taking 10 steps back, doesn't it?)

But I also noticed something the other day. I noticed that I don't regret any of my choices. I wish some of them had worked out differently, but I don't regret that they happened. I'm am so ready to move forward with the next phase of my life. I just wish there wasn't so much trying to hold me back.

But I'm trying anyway. Went on a date last week. A real, bona-fide date! Of course, I'm terrible at dating. I have never been interested in someone that I haven't been at least friends with first. Which, at this point, makes dating hard, since I very rarely make new friends, and would never date one of my friends now (no offense to any of them - I've just known them too long). Will a second date follow? Who knows. Do I care? No, not really. Because you can't get hurt by someone you hardly know. That's EFFING AWESOME!

And if I can get them to always buy dinner...? EVEN BETTER.



Happy Tuesday!