To my Dad,

...I want to bitch-slap the Bionic Woman.

Just on a short note - I visited my friendly, neighborhood bank to make a withdrawal last week, and the clerk spent 30 seconds staring at my withdrawal slip. "This says, 'Jaime' (hi-may)." "No, it's Jaime." "But it says Hi-may."

I will forever blame my father for his RIDICULOUS obsession with Lindsay Wagner and the Bionic Woman. In fact, I called him, and accused him of spelling my name like this just for pure entertainment purposes...(I WAS BORN IN ARIZONA - EVERY 2ND PERSON THERE IS MEXICAN - DON'T TELL ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN!!!)

His reply?

"Just add an apostrophe...then you'll be J'aime, french for 'To Love.'"

Yeah, okay SALVATORE.