...I am all for technology...as Kip once sang, I love technology. But I have recently developed this uncontrollable desire to kidnap the person (man - no woman would ever do this) that invented 'voice-activated customer support representatives.' Once I have HIM in my custody, I will perform a Swimming With Sharks and rub the stinking BA****D in Kosher Salt. You know, the kind that comes on the really good hot pretzels you get in NYC?
TANGENT WARNING:
I love the hot pretzel. HMMMM PRETZEL...Can they ship them cross-country? Sorry, back now.

Maybe I should explain my extremely violent feelings towards Mr. VACSR -

2 weeks ago, I discovered that someone had stolen my debit card NUMBER. Not card, just the NUMBER, and was using to make multiple purchases at 7-11 in Rialto, CA and Fontana, CA.
And by the way, if you are reading this, you stinking thieving garbage pail : 7-11???? You steal my fricken debit card and the best you can do is $310 at 7-11????????????? LOSER!!!!!
Anyway, as a result of this, I have been on the phone with Washington Mutual Customer Service, Washington Mutual Fraud Protection, Experian, TransUnion, and 1000 other companies. And apparently, even if some dipwad steals your identity and your money, you still have to spend 6 hours yelling at the robot chick before she lets you talk to a real person.

The Following is an excerpt from a real conversation I had this very morning with Madame Robot Chick:

Robot Chick

Thank you for calling '...' In order to provide you with excellent service,

please say or enter your social security number.

Me

Customer Service, Please.

Robot Chick

I'm sorry, I didn't understand your answer. Please say or enter

your social security number.

Me

Argh. Fine. 111-11-1111.

Robot Chick

Thank you. Please say or enter your numeric birthday.

Me

No, Customer Service.

Robot Chick

I'm sorry. I didn't understand your answer. Please hold while I transfer you to a customer

service representative.

Me

Thank god.

Robot Chick

In order to better serve you, please say the reason for your call.

Me

Argh. Identity Theft.

Robot Chick

Excuse me. Did you just say "Open a new account?"

Me

No. Identity Theft.

Robot Chick

Excuse me. Did you just say "Check my balance?"

Me

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU STUPID ROBOT BITCH, GIVE ME

A F*****G LIVE PERSON BEFORE I REACH THROUGH THIS PHONE

AND THROTTLE THE ROBOTIC LIFE OUT OF YOU!!!!!!!

Robot Chick

Okay. (not Okay, but more like "OkAy, just for that I'm hanging up on you)

Bitch hung up on me.

If anyone ever tells you that AI was a work of fiction, tell them to call Robot Chick.

God Bless music downloads...but Automated Customer Service Representatives are surely the work of Satan...

I move to bring back the lynch mob - only, insead of arming ourselves with rope and torches, we bring wire cutters and screwdrivers. KILL THE ROBOT CHICK!!!