..."We'll be in touch"

It's funny how quickly an interview can go from good to awful in four short words. "Thanks for coming in. We'll be in touch." Why don't they just say, "Thanks. You tanked your interview and we're definitely not going to call you back." I had an interview today at First Look Studios, the brandy brand-new company that is the result of a merger of First Look Media (financed Waking Ned Devine) and Capital Entertainment (DVD distro - did Bend It Like Beckham and the American Idol DVDs). I met with Richard Shore, a fairly good-looking youngish lawyer who will be overseeing the production arm, Glass Key, and is also the SVP of Business Affairs. They called me less than 3 minutes after receiving my resume (huh - who knew the UTA joblist ACTUALLY had real jobs on it??) Seemed like a good opportunity - a fledgling young company, cool young staff, and MILLIONS of new dollars to spend on independent films. So, needless to say, I'm pretty pumped about the phone call. I spend the night researching the companies, the power players, the library, the works. Is this the opportunity I've been waiting for? Could be...so I arrive at the interview, freshly starched resume in hand, my most grownup, uncomfortable high-heeled shoes on my feet, 8 minutes early. Just early enough to be punctual, not so early as to piss them off...and as I approach the reception desk, I realize no one is there. There is a sequined purse lying open next to the latest issue of Cosmo, but there is no receptionist. This could be interesting. I wander around, poke my head down the hall - no people. I peruse the issue of EW with Harry Potter on the cover - damn, I wish I had gotten that issue...I'll have to call them and get it. I check out Time magazine, about the anniversary of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Suddenly, a tall, blond PRINCESS walks into the office. "Yeah?"
"Uh, hi...I'm Jaime...I have a 4 o'clock with Richard Shore..." Princess replies, "Uh huh..." and then walks down the hall and out of sight. Hmmm. Not the response I was hoping for. Then, 3 post-college frat boys walk into the waiting area. OH SHIT. I never did extremely well with the Greek system...and Princess was surely Delta Delta Delta material. One of approaches me.."Jaime?" "Yes?" "I'm Richard Shore, follow me..." NICE - he came in himself and didn't make me wait. That's a first! And then comes the interview. I use the term interview very loosely, because if memory serves, and interview should actually involve QUESTIONS!!! Instead, he asked me two - "what do you want to do in this business?" and "So, you do a lot at your job...what do you do there?" Um, buddy, you've got my fricken resume sitting in front of you...I've got 25 power points about what I do...but, what the hell, I'll summarize for you. "Oh, you've got a lot of production experience..." NO - If you'd read my fricken resume, it clearly shows that what I do is a lot less production and a lot more STUPID OFFICE BULLSHIT that is extremely important in any job. But I Digress - he then goes on a 15 minute spiel about the company, the history of the company, the merger, his position, the films, and what he needs in an assistant. Okay...great. So, ask away. I sit on the edge of my seat, waiting for the questions to roll. "So, that's about it...oh, and the salary is $30,000 with full benefits and a 401K. I'm meeting people all week, and we'll make a decision at the end of this week or the beginning of next. Thanks so much for coming in..." Huh? uh, okay. #1 - $30,000? Are you friggin kidding me? Good luck finding a top notch assistant with experience at that salary. #2 - Are you going to ask me ANYTHING??? And to top it all off, he tries to pay me a backhanded compliment - "well, clearly you are a jack of all trades, and you're obviously very smart...there have been girls, oh and some guys too, that I haven't spent this much time with." RIIIIIGHT...so, you're looking for that post-frat, pretty boy that you can hang out with during down time. GOTCHA...I got it. "So, thanks for coming in. We'll be in touch."

Yeah. Just validate my parking, Flounder.