Myspace...

The final frontier where the English language has officially been killed.

Perhaps it's because I'm older than the great majority of users. Or that I'm not in high school. Or just that I'm not a moron. But are teenagers SO friggin busy these days that they need to remove the extraneous capitalization and punctuation that plague our native tongue?

Case in point: Copied directly from

{Text removed to protect Blogger from discovery of being a total bitch}


Now, ignoring the content of the paragraph, I'd just like to address the lack of apostrophes. I am = im. Instant Messenger=IM. Capice? No, me neither. I'm also not sure about the concept of the mixed cases on Myspace. What are mixed cases, you ask? WeLl, It'S WhEn PeoPLE toSs RaNDoM cApiTALizaTiOn iNTo tHeIR WRitiNG. Okay, perhaps it's some sort of secret code, a cipher that when deciphered, reveals that these kids are composing Shakespeare and Proust-level materials. Or they're just dumb. I'm going with that.